What's Love Got To Do With It?

Marriage: A life’s Long Journey

            In her article “What’s Love Got to Do with it?” Anjula Razdam explains the pros and cons of both arranged marriages and romance attractions. Half of all the so-called “Western Romance Marriages” in America end in divorce. Many divorced couples based their marriages on physical attractions and passions rather than on love. There are many things to consider before making any commitment especially a life commitment like marriage. First, marriage needs give and take. One should not expect too much from his or her partner. There should be a flow of communication and understanding between the two who are committed to each other. Faithfulness and endurance cannot be left out; in fact, they are the back bone of every successful marriage crowned with real love.

            Most marriages which are arranged are either traditionally arranged or by match makers. It does not matter where and how couples meet each other, what matters is their commitment to their marital life. Some people just marry because their friends are marrying and they want to belong to the same group. Therefore, they marry without really loving their partner. They soon divorce when the road becomes difficult. They have no endurance nor do they know what it means to make a commitment. 

            My parents’ union was an arranged marriage. They knew each other as they both grew up in the same village, but had never gone out on a date. Customs and traditions had to be observed especially in choosing a life partner. Even if one has seen someone suitable to marry, one still has to allow an elder, usually one’s parents or any elder from the kindred, to say “Go head”. In this way, one is committing him/herself not only to the partner, but also to that entire family. Eventually, the couples learn to love each other and their relations.

            My parents were a great example. I have never heard my parents exchanging words in my presence, neither have I seen them invite a third party to settle their disputes. They were even counselors to other couples as many people come to them for advice. Even though things were not always as smooth as humans may expect, yet they both learned to cherish and love each other.

            Marriages based on passions and attractions soon fade away, unless they were built on love and endurance. Then they will survive the difficulties as things will not always go the way one wants them. The divorce rate is increasing not only in the United States, but also in almost every culture. The reason is obvious; people marry for passion not for love, therefore, they fall in love today and the next day, they fall out of love. No real commitment!